“The constellation of your eyes:” a poem searching for hope

The constellation of your eyes

The most difficult thing
about being human
is to dare to love
more than my anger tells me
is possible or worthwhile.

How would I dare to treat you
if I knew your life
was the path to my salvation?

That the healing of my soul
was mapped out
in the constellation of your eyes?

There is a piece of my story
that only you hold 
in your callused hands.

To receive it, I must meet you
in the cave of my heart,
and so meet myself. 

The pain we inflict 
upon one another, out of pride,
ignorance, and greed–
that unholy trinity–
leaves a scar on the face of God.

When I dare to look deeply
in the mirror, I can see
the dim god to whom
I bend my knee in devotion. 

This is why all around us
oily voices tempt us
to keep our eyes closed. 

I remember the moment 
when the veil was torn in two
and something beyond brightness
poured out and burned away
what I thought was myself.

Yet we strain our muscles,
sewing it back together
with a thread stained red.

I asked the Wise One
how this will end,
the one of countless names.

We sat side by side
for a thousand years
watching the sunrise,
and then she whispered:

We will exhaust ourselves
into hope, but one day
we will finally know
what it means to live. 

--Stuart Higginbotham